Liberal Serving

10 Places Too Icky To Live

Your smart. You read books, the news... you have strong opinions and you're generally hip and with it. These are the top ten most unpleasant places for you to live (based on the sadly unironic Human Events ranking of the top ten conservative places to live). Stay away! (not that they'd want you anyhow!)

10. Cincinnati, Ohio - Called "too conservative"

9. Boise, Idaho - "one of America’s most Republican districts"

8. Mesa, Ariz. - "The district's cultural tone is resolutely...churchgoing."

7. Clarksville, Tenn. - "pro-life, pro-military and pro-2nd Amendment"

6. Wichita, Kan. - "Protection of gun rights has been a major local issue"

Molly Ivans Gets Her Rant On (and Oprah for Prez!)

fight fight fight... Molly Ivans isn't taking shit. Seriously, we need more of it from our limp noodle Democrats. No more republican lite bullshit. No one wants fat free olestra chips - no one wants fat free watery Republicans either. They need to motivate the left - kind of like Howard Dean almost did until he was drown out by so many genius experts touting John Kerry's "electability."  Can you "I Told You So" a meme?

I will not be supporting Senator Clinton because: a) she has no clear stand on the war and b) Terri Schiavo and flag-burning are not issues where you reach out to the other side and try to split the difference. You want to talk about lowering abortion rates through cooperation on sex education and contraception, fine, but don’t jack with stuff that is pure rightwing firewater.

...As usual, the Democrats have forty good issues on their side and want to run on thirty-nine of them. Here are three they should stick to:

1) Iraq is making terrorism worse; it’s a breeding ground. We need to extricate ourselves as soon as possible. We are not helping the Iraqis by staying.

2) Full public financing of campaigns so as to drive the moneylenders from the halls of Washington.

3) Single-payer health insurance.

Every Democrat I talk to is appalled at the sheer gutlessness and spinelessness of the Democratic performance. The party is still cringing at the thought of being called, ooh-ooh, “unpatriotic” by a bunch of rightwingers.

via Pam @ Pandagon

A Day in the Life of Joe Republican

Also seen on This Modern World. Funny (not haha) and sad because it's true.

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to ensure their safety and that they work as advertised.

Give up: What Kind of Republican Are You?

Eh, it's been said, but thems some cute cartoon 'pugs, huh? Via the NSFW Proceed at your own Risk.

Now Who's De-Christing Xmas?

Ah, xmastime.  A time for family, generosity, and, um, lies? A new Republican web ad sucks the Grinch right out of the picture and replaces him with the "Cut & Run" bullshit meme in the name of partisanship. Slate:

The video conveys the impression that somewhere in Iraq, a soldier is having his mission and Christmas tarnished by weak-willed Democrats.

Nope, this disinformation-pawn soldier is just watching the Grinch, which begs the question - why the sour body language? Is he ruining his own xmas?  Is he uncomfortable with the Grinch's demons, or his own? Does he just need a hug?  Wonkette thinks it could be worse:

They could have just kept the photo untouched and compared Democrats to the Grinch. What with the Nazis already taken.

Doctoring photos is nothing new, but de-CHRISTmasing them?  A new low that's sure to piss off some idiot somewhere... When are the double-thinkers going to learn that they have to pull this stuff off well so they're not hung out on the internets for all to see?

A Man Walks Into A (Robot) Bar...

Sometimes the payoff is worth the long-form exposition... (thanks Dennis)

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender.

The robot serves him a perfectly prepared cocktail, and then asks him, "What's your IQ?"

The man replies "150" and the robot proceeds to make conversation about global warming factors, quantum physics and spirituality, biomimicry, environmental interconnectedness, string theory, nano-technology, and sexual proclivities.

The customer is very impressed and thinks, "This is really cool." He decides to test the robot. He walks out of the bar, turns around, and comes back in for another drink. Again, the robot serves him the perfectly prepared drink and asks him, "What's your IQ?"

The man responds, "About a 100."

Immediately the robot starts talking, but this time, about football, NASCAR, baseball, supermodels, favorite fast foods, guns, and women's breasts.

Really impressed, the man leaves the bar and decides to give the robot one more test. He heads out and returns, the robot serves him and asks, "What's your IQ?"

The man replies, "Er, 50, I think."

Things Are Bad When Cartoons Are This Simple

Click it for a bigger image.  More at the TMW archive on Working for Change.

Dictionary Of Republicanisms

Excerpts from the Dictionary of Republicanisms via pandagon.  Snark, yes.  Polemic, yes... but true.

abstinence-only sex education n. Ignorance-only sex education [Wayne Martorelli, Lawrenceville, NJ].

alternative energy sources n. New locations to drill for gas and oil [Peter Scholz, Fort Collins, Colo.].

bankruptcy n. A punishable crime when committed by poor people but not corporations [Beth Thielen, Studio City, Calif.].

free markets n.  Halliburton no-bid contracts at taxpayer expense [Sean O'Brian, Chicago, Ill.].

growth n. 1. The justification for tax cuts for the rich. 2. What happens to the national debt when Republicans cut taxes on the rich [Matthew Polly, Topeka, Kans.]

pro-life adj. Valuing human life up until birth [Kevin Weaver, San Francisco, Calif.].

democracy n. A product so extensively exported that the domestic supply is depleted [Michael Schwartz, unknown].

 

Majority of Americans Are Un-American

The rhetoric is getting there, huh?  Sutton stash in the Village Voice

It's a Blue, Blue America, Though Take Care To Avoid The Teal

via Liberal Avenger