James Dobson's Ten Reasons Why Not...or Bestiality!

Crackhead James Dobson's Top Ten List of Reasons gay marriage will destroy America is a fun ride:

1. The legalization of homosexual marriage will quickly destroy the traditional family, confusing young people about sexual identity, lifelong commitments, emotional bonding, sexual purity and the role of children.  Legalization will also lead to polygamy, bestiality and other alternatives to man-woman unions.

Good Fucking Grief! You led with the bestiality slippery slope - that's your best material, and you really should have saved it for the finale. I think it's fair to conclude that - within your logic, or lack thereof - that gay marriage will cause immediate child bestiality. Oh, and explain again how supporting gay relationships would confuse anyone about lifelong commitments, emotional bonding or the role of children (if anything, it would clear that topic up, but that's just my two cents). Would gay parents expect the kids to go out and win the bread?  Nice spice with the queer parents=slutty kids jab. Stupid, baseless, irrelevant, but oh so vivid an image. You've obviously got visions of Jonbenet Ramsey dancing in your head.

via Proceed at Your Own Risk. Thanks Sean!

2. Children will suffer if they are not raised by loving and committed  mothers and fathers.

Suffer how? Suffer from

3. Public schools in every state will embrace homosexuality and will be required to teach this perversion as the moral equivalent of traditional marriage.

Eh, no biggie here.

4. Adoption laws will be instantly obsolete, preventing courts from favoring normal married couples over gay couples.

I love that you'll say the most absurd thing first, then follow up with the only minor point you can drudge up to even approach supporting it. Your shit has style man - you've earned your fame.

5. Foster-care programs will be impacted dramatically.  Foster care parents will be required to undergo 'sensitivity training' to rid themselves of bias in favor of heterosexuality, and will have to affirm homosexuality in children and teens.  Morality training will be forbidden.

I know this is a hard point for you to understand in that pin head of yours, Jimmy, but James Dobson's morality does not equal morality. Foster parents already do get training in helping them in their roles - sometimes even anti-homophobia training, though there's still plenty of homophobic bastards in the mix. I'm sure their hate will continue on for you.

6. The health care system will stagger and perhaps collapse, as millions of new dependents become eligible for coverage.

What millions of new dependents? I know you folks don't like science much, but I know you're aware that queers can't breed.  Are you really trying to spin the finite number of queers that would then be covered under their spouses' healthcare coverage?  First of all, if those queers buy their spouses healthcare what the fuck does it do to you? Secondly, it's not like these queers would materialize out of thin air. They're out there already getting healthcare as best they can.  Some, like me are lucky enough to have spouses that work for employers progressive enough to provide coverage.  My partner is lucky enough to pay taxes on the benefits his employer extends to me.  Maybe you should be more concerned about all the tax funds that the government won't unjustly make off our backs. (see #7)

7. Social Security will be severely stressed, with millions of new eligible dependents.

You're right there. Now heterosexual folks such as yourself (oh, guess I shouldn't assume there - you know what they say about the loudest voice complaining) get to enjoy a surplus of funds that homos feed into the fund. (and we have lots of money, so we're probably paying more than our fair share anyhow) So it's true that Social Security would be spread thinner - but that thinness would be fair.  Taken the other way, we could help out the whole Social Security proposition by excluding any number of groups from it's benefits. Start with black folks and see how far you get.

8. Religious freedom will be jeopardized because writings and speech that criticize homosexuality will effectively become criminalized.  Homophobia would become a crime, punishable by prison or other severe penalties.

Nice try with the straw man. Actually, hate crimes are already, uuh, crimes. If only homophobia (or like the cliche goes - ignorance) were painful, or illegal. But, nope, the first amendment ensures that you'll still be able to indulge in your bullshittery with impunity.

9. Other nations will follow our lead in the march toward homosexual marriage just as they did with pornography.

March away, but - hold on bucko. We're actually behind the pack on gay rights. Even South Africa's making us look like the backwards hicks you'd like us to be. Ooooh porno!

10. The Gospel of Jesus will be severely curtailed.

I don't know what version of the bible you're reading bucko - Jesus never said anything about homosexuality, so the Gospel of Jesus (which, my understanding includes a lot of not-judging-others and love-thy-neighbor business) won't be impacted at all.  If you're talking up the vengeful old testament, well shame on you. I was always taught that the word of Christ trumps the hate that came before.

Comments

[Chuck]

A couple of things:

1. "You led with the bestiality slippery slope " -- oh yes, and what a slippery slope it is:
http://web.ics.purdue.edu/~smith60/warninglabel.jpg

2. "4. Adoption laws will be instantly obsolete, preventing courts from favoring normal married couples over gay couples." -- I love the total fucking neglect of the statistics which show a half-million kids nationwide in foster homes with no one to adopt them. The problem is certainly *not* that there are just too many straight people waiting to adopt kids. Thus, favoritism is irrlelvant. Hell, Pat, do something for the kids, right? It's all about the kids.

2.5 "Foster-care programs will be impacted dramatically." -- Uh, like yeah, because the kids will be adopted into loving, more-stable-than-ever-before households.

3. "6. The health care system will stagger and perhaps collapse, as millions of new dependents become eligible for coverage." and "7. Social Security will be severely stressed, with millions of new eligible dependents." -- I love these arguments, becuase they're prima facie admissions that the idea that giving gay people access to these equal rights is not in any way "special rights" as the 700 Club is apt to call them.

And I agree wholeheartedly with your comments on 8, 9, and 10. Well done :)

[Dennis]

Mayn.. I love nothin' more than turtle fuckin'