abstinence-only sex education n. Ignorance-only sex education [Wayne Martorelli, Lawrenceville, NJ].
alternative energy sources n. New locations to drill for gas and oil [Peter Scholz, Fort Collins, Colo.].
bankruptcy n. A punishable crime when committed by poor people but not corporations [Beth Thielen, Studio City, Calif.].
free markets n. Halliburton no-bid contracts at taxpayer expense [Sean O'Brian, Chicago, Ill.].
growth n. 1. The justification for tax cuts for the rich. 2. What happens to the national debt when Republicans cut taxes on the rich [Matthew Polly, Topeka, Kans.]
pro-life adj. Valuing human life up until birth [Kevin Weaver, San Francisco, Calif.].
democracy n. A product so extensively exported that the domestic supply is depleted [Michael Schwartz, unknown].